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Laugh Till You Drop: Top Funny Jokes of All Time
Fearful Farmer vs. Furious Wife: A Wild Encounter at the Zoo!
An old farmer and his wife went to the zoo, and when they saw the hippopotamus, the farmer said, “What a strange fish, ain’t it, ma?” His wife corrected him, saying, “That ain’t a fish. It’s a reptile.” This led to a heated argument, with the wife chasing the husband with her umbrella. The farmer found himself in the lion’s cage, hiding behind the largest lion, while his wife furiously shook her umbrella at him from the other side of the bars, calling him a coward.
Love on the Deathbed: A Tale of Two Women
“I’m dying, go to Fannie… tell her I loved her. And Jennie… tell her the same.”
Card Games and Liquor Claims: A Southern Twist
A Tennessee farmer bought a gallon jug of whiskey and tagged it with a five of hearts. When he returned later, the jug was gone. The grocer explained, “Jim Slocum showed up with a six of hearts and claimed your jug as his!”
Homework Gone ‘Ale’-ry: A Brew-tiful Complaint!
Dear Teacher, Please give my son easier homework. Last time, he brought home a math problem about gallons and pints that left us drowning in beer! We even had to buy a keg to figure it out. Next time, let’s stick to water, my wallet can’t handle another ‘brew-tal’ challenge!”
Mendicant Meets Manners: A Comedy at the Doorstep
“The fancy maid told her rich mistress, ‘There’s a Mendicant at the door.’ The mistress replied, ‘Tell him we’ve got nothing left to mend!'”
First-Timer’s Fiasco: When the Driver is New Too!
A nervous woman hopped into a taxi. The car shot forward, narrowly avoiding collisions. Terrified, she yelled to the driver, “Please be careful! It’s my first time in a taxi!” The driver shouted back, “No worries, ma’am. It’s my first time driving one!”
Bigamy Punishment: The Double Trouble
“What’s the punishment for bigamy? Having two mothers-in-law!”
Three Marriages, Four Years, One Worried Man
“After three quick marriages in a year, the unlucky man got sentenced to four years. As the jail term was ending, he asked his lawyer, ‘Is it safe for me to come out?'”
A Businessman’s Game Plan Gone Awry – The Misguided Investment
A successful baseball club, part of a boys’ organization backed by a wealthy businessman, faced a challenge from a rival team. The businessman contributed money to the captain, instructing them to use it for buying bats, balls, gloves, or anything to ensure victory. On game day, the businessman noticed no new equipment on the field and questioned the captain about it.
“I don’t see any new gear,” he said.
“We didn’t buy any,” the captain admitted.
“But I gave you money for that,” the businessman exclaimed.
“Well, you said to spend it on anything that might help us win,” the captain explained, “so we gave it to the umpire!”
The Ultimate Destination: Why People Are Dying to Get into This Graveyard!
“Hey, have you seen that crowded graveyard? It’s like the hottest spot to be, people are just dying to get in
The Lunar Dining Experience: A Zero Atmosphere Comedy
“Ever heard of the moon restaurant? Awesome food, but zero atmosphere.”
Paper Humor at Its Best: The Tearable Joke
“You wanna hear a paper joke? Nah, forget it, it’s tearable.”
Brown & Sticky: A Comedy of Simple Answers
“You know what’s brown and sticky? Just a stick!”
Born with a Nose: A Picky Joke
“People say they pick their nose. Guess what? I was just born with mine.”
Noodle Comedy: The Impasta Joke
“What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”
A Taste of the Fishy Side: Sushi Comedy
“Hey, I’d steer clear of the sushi if I were you. It’s a bit fishy.”
The Haircut Twist: Boss’ Joke Mastery
“Boss, did you get a haircut?”
“No, I got them all cut!”
Lost Wheels, Found Humor: The Carlos Joke
“What do you call a person who has lost his car?”
“Carlos.”
Comedy of Spuds: The Mashed Potato Shocker
Two potatoes. One gets crushed, and the other goes, “Oh, mashed potato!”
Tomato Comedy: When Life Gets Squeezed
Two tomatoes. One gets crushed, and the other goes, “Oh, tomato puree!”
Heaven, Hell, or Circus: A Kid’s Hilarious Priority
“Mom, if I’m good, I go to heaven; if I’m bad, I go to hell.”
“And what do I do to go to the movies?”
Up and Down with a Pea: A Comical Elevator Tale
What’s small, green, and moves up and down?
A tiny green pea in an elevator.
Call Me Dad: When Family Clarifications Get Hilarious
“I said, ‘I’ll call you later!’ And my Dad replied, ‘Please, call me Dad!'”
Dad’s Dilemma: The Ice Cream-Worthy Cause
Johnny goes to his dad for 10 dollars.
Dad: “What’s it for?”
Johnny: “To give to an old lady!”
Dad: “That’s awesome, helping her out! And where is she?”
Johnny “Over there, selling ice cream!”
Lighting and Laughs: The Yelling Father Tale
“I believe TV can lead to violence,” says Etienne.
“Why do you think that?” asks her friend.
“Because every time I turn on the light, my father yells at me!”
TV Comedy Hour: A Dad’s Playful Response
Kid: “Can I watch TV?”
Dad: “Sure, but keep it off.”
Dad and the Shoes: A Fitting Joke
“Dad, can you put my shoes on?”
“No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
Dad’s Painful Wisdom: The Good News Joke
“Every time I hurt myself, even now, my dad says, “The good news is… it always feel better when it quits hurting.”
Minty Inventions: The Hilarious Dad Joke About Lifesavers!
“Last week, my dad told me this one: ‘You know the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!'”
Cliffhanger Dad: The Mountain Climber’s Hilarious Choice of Baby Name!
Why did the mountain climber name his son Cliff? Because it’s a peak name!
The Cookie’s Daddy Issues: A Sweet and Silly Tale
“Why did the cookie cry? Because his dad was a wafer (way-far) too!”
Milk and Bags – A Dad’s Conundrum
Dad at the Grocery Store: “Do you want the milk in a bag?”
Dad’s Classic Reply: “Nah, just leave it in the carton!”
